A Conversation About Money

Right now, I am working at a horse show with some fabulous people, and for a fabulous person. It’s a top top barn in the industry, everyone knows who my boss this week (heretofore referred to as MBTW) is. She has in her employment a manager of sorts, who is my age, and while she hasn’t worked for as many top people as I have, her situation in life nevertheless automatically inducts her into the inner circle of the horse world. To what inner circle am I referring?

Money. The inner circle of Money.

PLEASE let me start by saying she is EXTREMELY nice. Very easy to work with, not bossy, easy going, clean. Just plain nice nice nice. It is interesting, though, to see her talk effortlessly with people 6 to 9 years younger (like me, she is 27). Clients even. Me? I would never get chummy with a client, and it’s more than just a professional viewpoint. I simply have nothing in common with the clients, not really. Why? I’m not rich, and while I can’t 100% confirm it because who comes out and says, “Yes, I’m rich,” she is.

Yes, this sounds a bit like jealousy. And I’ll admit it, part of it IS about jealousy. What would it be like to be rich? To not have to worry about money? And that’s the main difference. I may choose to buy nice things, even a few extravagances with my funds. But I also know what it is like to worry about money. These people....there appears to be no concept that money is usually a limited resource.

Take water. I myself have no concept of what it means to be without water. Or to worry about not having enough water to get through a shower, or boil my pasta, or even take a casual drink. Yes, I KNOW that it is a resource, and I KNOW that there are parts of the world where water exists as a scarcity. But for me? Personally? I can’t understand these facts at anything other than surface level. I can’t internally, viscerally comprehend.

For many people who I am in contact with now on a daily basis, money is very much like water. Yes, they KNOW about money, but they don’t really KNOW about money.

Example:

Last night, I went out with MBTW to dinner with a few other people. The place was somewhat pricey, so I decided to order the equivalent of a hamburger and water. MTBW graciously treated us all, which was fantastic. Tonight, MBTW specifically invited me out to the same place. This time, I ordered the Filet Mignon, expecting (oops) that I would once again be treated, specifically because the place was overall very expensive and I was invited.

I was not.

Ouch.

I felt pain! Ouch! And THAT is the part, THAT pain, THAT feeling of being monetarily wounded, THAT is the missing link between myself and my inclusion into this world.

I will close by saying that this world does have some odd voyeuresque appeal to me. If I was repelled or repulsed by it, I wouldn’t be here. Many of the bosses I work for do work hard. Many didn’t necessarily come from money, but have simply forgotten what it’s like not to have it.

And me? Well. This is as close to it as I’ll ever get. In a weird, honestly blogging sort of way, that’s better than nothing.