One Year Ago Today...

There is a game that I often play with myself called One Year Ago Today. Don't think too hard, it's pretty self explanatory. One year is enough time for things to significantly change, both in terms of events and in terms of personal growth. It's also a length of time that goes by relatively quickly. Put the two together, and it can make for some pretty amazing WTF moments.

My life tends to resemble a shaky traveling amusement part ride as it is, even at the steadiest of times. Friends like to talk with me on the phone mainly because I always have something new to tell them, and most of the time, it comes completely out of the blue. "You're doing WHAT?" "When did you decide THIS?" and most importantly, "Does your Mother know?"

Yes, she usually does.

Right now, things in my life are pretty steady. Meaning that I've uprooted myself, moved to a completely different state, and started gearing up for Graduate School, where I will spend the next 4-5 years rooted to one spot (whaaa??) getting a double masters degree. Mind you, in February, Grad School wasn't even a twinkle in my eye. Does that help you get a clearer picture? I'm about to spend my final year of professional horse work, come fall, I will give it up and embrace the amateur's life. I will start dating. Again.

And this is where we begin.

One Year Ago Today:

June 11th, 2008 - . My god, I was lucky. I finally landed my dream job: Assistant Trainer of a legitimate show/lesson operation in the heart of the city I had always wanted to call home. I wasn't a girl, or a groom, or just an Assistant. I was a Trainer. I reveled at the thought of warming up kids to go into the ring, coaching them at home, watching them grow and improve. I had clout., as my winter in Florida fleshed out my already good resume with some of the top names in the industry. The head trainer promised to not only give me the riding time in the SHOW ring (FINALLY), but also the support and guidance to make the experience positive. The people were nice. The horses, well cared for. My future? Golden.

June 11th, 2007 - Freelancing. Finally. That was the way to go. The school year was over. Teaching inner city kids took more out of me than I had expected, though I loved my students. Only one summer class at grad school for my MEd. August? What? What's August? I was going to work at....wait for it....irony of ironies....HORSE SHOWS. And not only that, with the same woman who I quit working for just two short years ago. But the choice felt good. Nevermind that it had been more than a year since my butt touched the saddle, horses were a part of my need to function. Yes, the vacation from them had been necessary, and now getting back to them was just as necessary. I loved working hard. I loved flatting in the morning before the sun rose, watching it creep over the horizon atop a horse I could never afford to buy for myself. I loved the atmosphere. The drama. The commotion. In a way, I felt like I was coming home again. In the fall, back to business, back to school, back to teaching, back to "real life." But for my summer? Make believe in The Horse World.

June 11th, 2006 - FINALLY!! A teaching job!! A light at the end of the tunnel! It had been more than a year since moving to the city and establishing a blissfully horse/drama free life. What did I have to show for myself? Yes, I had a nice little place and paid my own bills, and wore nice clothes and had at least something that resembled a social life. But the job in the jewelry store started to wear thin. I quit horses to teach. And I wasn't teaching. Until FINALLY, an inner city school gave me the chance I craved. My English degree wasn't enough for other schools. I didn't carry the "highly qualified" badge. Whatever. I wanted to teach in this setting anyways. Plus, PLUS, the city's School of Education had EXACTLY the program I was looking for, and in two short years, I would have my Masters in Education; I wouldn't be the family **ck- up any more. The jewelry place till August, then...then...my life would begin.

June 11th, 2005 - Horses wasn't working. At all. What had started as a dream job slowly collapsed around me. My boss, while sweet outside of work, had no concept of personal boundaries or the limits of what a person could take. I loved the horses, but I couldn't handle a full barn of 14 that needed full show care with only one other girl to help me. I couldn't feed, muck, turn out, clean the barn, turn in, groom and tack 3 horses, groom and tack my own horse, and then cool out 3 horses, cool out my own horse, do the same with another set of 4, clean the tack, make their dinner feed, clean the barn, go to Southern States, babysit while lessons were taught, pick the stalls again, and feed dinner, 6 days a week, week after week, with no end in site. And body clip. And pull manes. And polish the bits. And trim. And dust for cobwebs. I felt myself falling apart. But where else could I go? What else could I do? Maybe, just maybe, if I stuck it out, things would get better....

So that's where I've been. I've learned not to wonder too much where I'm going, though I do hope to still be in Grad School, riding as an amateur, having a boyfriend (a what? What's that?), and making time for all the little things I didn't make time for before.

The next time you find yourself bored, I invite you to play the One Year Ago Today game. You might be surprised at what you learn.